Says every surgeon ever. I’ve had three surgeries now and while they happily describe cauterizing the bed of my liver or cutting bones from my nose there is one word they noticeably avoid in connection with cutting me up: pain. They speak of “discomfort” and “soreness,” and somehow always manage to skirt the “p” word. I guess they’re afraid that ms-8GQ8rTif they’re honest about how surgery makes you feel they’ll be out of a job–as if the general population isn’t intelligent enough to realize that being cut and cauterized and debrided and stitched and stapled is going to cause pain. Of course once they’ve actually had the surgery the patient will be very aware of just how far the term “soreness” is stretching it, but that’s not really the surgeon’s problem anymore right?

I’m being passive aggressive. Maybe I should just tell you the specific reason I am annoyed at my surgeon, and surgeons in general, at the present moment. Of course having had two surgeries in the past I was already aware heading into this one of the surgeon’s code–I knew that “discomfort” meant I’d be in significant pain–but really I couldn’t have foreseen this particular scenario:  I’ve been having a reaction to the pain medicine my surgeon prescribed me. It makes me itch all over like crazy, even when I take Benadryl. Tuesday I called my surgeon’s office and told them this, hoping that I could get a different medicine to help with the pain, but not cause me to scratch myself to death. Their obnoxiously polite response was that I could try taking more Benadryl and if that didn’t control the itching I could try taking Ibuprofen instead of the narcotic pain killer. And let’s not forget the suggestion that I should really be tapering down my pain meds anyways because “most” people experience the worst pain in the first couple days–essentially “stop being a baby.” Needless to say I was unhappy with their insulting and useless advice. Especially when I did try just taking Ibuprofen and discovered that I had not turned the figurative corner I supposedly should have floated around by then–my abdomen still freakin hurt.

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So I was left to struggle on my own–attempting to find a balance between pain, itchiness
and drowsiness that I could handle. Yesterday I think I finally did drag myself around that magical corner and the pain poofed suddenly into soreness (actual soreness not a surgeon’s “soreness”) that can be mostly managed by Ibuprofen.

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Today is one week post-op and I feel a million times better than I did just a couple days ago. I’m eating a moderate amount, although I still feel overly full and a little sick every time I do eat. My stomach has deflated pretty much all the way and I just have a little residual swelling from my insides being poked and prodded. I’m still much more tired than normal, even without pain killers and Benadryl combining against me; if I make it, today will be my first full day without any prescription pain meds whatsoever.

Before the surgery I read accounts of people who said they only used narcotics the first day or never needed them at all–as Hagrid might say, that’s codswallop in my opinion. Or as I might say, that’s stupid. *Steps on soapbox* Everybody on the internet is trying to sound tough and it gives people unrealistic expectations. With my first two surgeries I tried to do the same thing–prove how tough I was by using as little pain killers as possible–but I learned that it just delays healing and makes you miserable. Being in a lot of pain puts extra, unnecessary stress on the body that makes it harder to heal. Plus when you’re in more pain you’re less likely to do things that are good for recovery like get up and walk around, get enough sleep and even eat. So take it from me and just take the meds. Ok rant over. *Steps down*

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Incisions Update:

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1 week post-op tummy–not too shabby eh?

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Close up on oblique incisions 

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Close up on belly button incision–can you believe they got my gallbladder out through that little thing?