About two months ago Hot Doctor did a punch biopsy on a skin lesion on my left hand. A couple weeks later I got the results of the biopsy–inconclusive. So they decided to take the whole thing off. Two weeks ago Hot Doctor cancelled the procedure saying he had decided that it would best for a dermatologist to do it. I waited two weeks to get into the specialist’s and finally yesterday the big day arrived…
Except it was not a big day. It was a stupid day.
Against my better judgement I allowed my mom to accompany me to the procedure because she was worried about me driving myself home afterwards or something. I don’t know. Here’s the problem with that:
- She can never completely control herself and let me speak for myself.
- I’m super young looking, so when my mom comes to appointments the doctors tend to speak to her over me and just generally fail to treat me like an adult. (If I’m by myself they have to assume that I’m at least eighteen)
So perhaps the appointment was doomed from the beginning. But it certainly didn’t improve with the arrival of the dermatologist I’d been waiting two weeks to see. In he walked–neon orange polo, khaki pants, bushy beard and a shiny, bald head–looking as if he just got back from a golf tournament for the color-blind. He wasted no time in establishing respectful communication by complimenting my pretty, bright flower pants as if I were a ten-year-old. Then he furthered this mutual respect by making it obvious how unfamiliar he was with my case, how uninterested he was, and how much of a hurry he was in.
Ultimately we convinced him not to follow through on his initial, extremely helpful impulse to do absolutely nothing. Well actually, no he still did nothing. But he had his nurse do something…another. freakin. biopsy. This time a shave biopsy, in which they just shaved the bump part off the top. The dermatologist theorized that this will make it go away, because everyone knows that if you just cut the top off something and leave the roots it never, ever grows back.
You can probably tell by my tone that I have totally let this go.
The part that I have most easily gotten over is that the dermatologist scared young, inexperienced Hot Doctor into referring me to him instead only to have his nurse do all the actual work. I’m pretty sure Hot Doctor is at least as qualified as a nurse, especially to do just another version of something he already did!
In the end all I gained from yesterday was another hole in my hand, a firm conviction to never allow my mother to come to any appointment short of surgery ever again (I still love you though mom 😉 ) and a blanket prejudice against all dermatologists. So yeah, big day.